Praying for a Date: Creepy or What?
I’ve always been vehemently against the idea of praying for a spouse. No matter how sincere they sound, “Dear Baby Jesus, please bring me a husband” prayers give me the heebie jeebies. It’s always felt like something “desperate girls” do but “cool girls” intuitively know is wrong—you know? Like how real women know tights aren’t pants.
I don’t know what my issue is. Maybe I’m not spiritual enough or maybe it’s just some residual irritation I have from my Christian college days, but bringing my desire for romance before God always felt like I was placing an unnatural amount of importance on finding a relationship. Wouldn’t that energy be better spent buying a new pair of heels? Or even on a spiritual note, doesn’t it seem like God would rather we spend time praying for clean drinking water in Sub-Saharan Africa than someone to smooch with on Saturday nights?
So for years, I’ve prayed around the issue. I asked for things like peace to deal with being single or deep friendships to fill my time without a guy by my side. And in time, I got all of those things (in abundance!), but never the man I really wanted.
Then last year God hit me with a 2x4 in the midst of a sermon series at church. He said, “You do not have because you do not ask.” (Matthew 6)
Now I don’t want to get all prosperity gospel on you. I know God isn’t Oprah—not everyone in the audience gets a brand new car. But something about that verse stuck with me for weeks. It echoed the sentiment of my favorite verse that comes from Exodus 2:21. Just before the LORD empowers Moses to lead the Israelites out of the oppressive conditions of Egypt, the Bible says, “And the LORD looked down on the Israelites, saw their suffering and was concerned about them.” I love this quality of God’s character—He’s the type of deity who looks down on His people with concern.
He cares about the very details of our lives, and here I was asking for everything but the one thing I desired most. So last fall I prayed one prayer. I said:
“God, I know I’ve kindasortanotreally asked you for this, but this time I’m going to be direct. I want a relationship. I know it won’t complete me; it won’t fix me; it won’t solve all of life’s problems. But I want a guy who I can genuinely and selflessly pour into out of the overflow of love in my life. If You feel my request is motivated by any trace of idolatry that would remove You from Your rightful place in my heart, then forget we ever had this conversation. I trust You know best. K.I.T. Stay cool. Don’t ever change.”
Then I heard nothin’…there was absolute radio silence on the other end for months. Until one day there wasn’t. And I met my honey.
Look, I don’t want to say that I prayed and God gave me a boyfriend. Hell, the poor boy certainly has enough problems to deal with dating me without the pressure of feeling like he is the answer to some crazy prayer I sent out into the ether. But I wanted to share this with you as my own life’s object lesson in obedience.
I believe there is some value to bringing your desire for a relationship before God, as creepy as it may be. Because at the end of the day He wants all of us…even the part that desires something other than Him. And when we acknowledge our hopes in the context of relationship with God, we give Him free reign to bless and shape those desires into something He approves of. At least that’s how it happened for me.
But don’t take my word for it. How do you feel about praying for a date or your future spouse? Is this crazytown territory? Leave a comment below or send us an email at ikisseddatinghello@gmail.com with your thoughts.
-CHANEL
