Kibitzing in the New Year
Hi guys! It’s been a while!! Have you lost weight? Done something new to your hair? Are those lips chapped due to the weather, or have you taken this site’s manifesto to heart?? Clearly, we have some catching up to do. Pull up a seat, grab yourself a beer an appropriate day-time beverage, and let’s get this party started…
There’s this guy. Actually there’s been two or three guys sort of hanging around in the periphery, but this guy didn’t wait 6 months, 8 kindofsortofdates and 10 meaningful stares later to finally get around to asking me out. He took his cues from Nike commercials and just did it.
It’s a bit of a sad commentary that asking point-blank, without any miscommunication of his intentions, completely took me by surprise. I said yes. I mean, of course I did. Barring any extenuating circumstances (namely that I’m dating someone else and/or he seems batshit crazy) I will almost always say yes to at least 1 date with a guy who has enough guts to ask.
Gentlemen, I am not the only girl who thinks this way. Landing first dates is easy. And quite honestly, second dates don’t have to be the emotional-Everest that some people make them out to be. In my mind, the challenge is not getting through the first few dates. The real challenge is found somewhere in the gray area of going on dates and dating a person. It is then, in that time of deciding whether or not to commit to something more, that a healthy dose of courage and discernment is required.
What’s also funny (to me anyway) is that prior to him asking, I’d penned a sort of irritated rant directed at both men and women. The entire post can be summed up in the following two statements:
MEN: Be gentleman. If you’re not in a place to date, don’t pursue her. This whole half-assed approach to dating as a means of “easing into things” or “taking it slow” is kind of a crock. We both ought to be able to take it slow without the added “benefit” of your indecisiveness to keep us in line.
LADIES: When a guy does get around to asking you out, hold your ish together. I am serious. For the sake of the menfolk, I’m going to need you to dial it back.
I know that you might really want a boyfriend and I absolutely understand that being single can be hard. Seriously, I get it. My 8yr. old cousin prays every night “for Sarah to find a man who loves her.” EVERY NIGHT Y’ALL. I, on the other hand, have to resist the urge to interject his prayers with my own “Hey Jesus. I’m doing fine…really! Thanks and amen!!”
But very few relationships, especially their infancy, will be able to handle full the weight of your hopes and expectations if they’re not kept in line. At the end of the day, you have to trust that God’s written your story. And that patience will always be required in seeing that story through to the end.
Clearly, I was in a foul mood when I originally wrote the post. I was also totally right.
-SARAH
